|"Cookies are a SOMETIMES food!"|
SO, today it was just "one of those days".
I think it all started to fester when I woke up - unusually early for me (I'm a night girl!), I lay there thinking I "should" get up early, go for a walk, try something different! Standing up briefly, and the stiff and sore legs from the night before's class left me staggering up the hallway and in two minds whether I'd actually make it to the end of the room, least of all the 5kms circuit I had in mind! Back to bed for an hour or so....
Alarm bells going off in my head, and I realise I've slept longer than I should have. PANIC! Mad rush to get ready, throw my protein shake in the blender, shovel it down.. run out the door! Off to work I go, my salmon and salad lunch and healthy snacks at the ready, no intention of undoing the last two days of heavy training. "Prepare, prepare, prepare" I say... because I KNOW that's what I have to do.
Off to the office I go, and as soon as I put my lunch goodies in the fridge, I get hit with the urge - a jolt to the system as though there's been a tremor in the room - as soon as I spy the cookie jar... Oh god, not the bloody cookie jar!!! Why isn't it empty already?! "Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it..." I walk away. Phew.
Hello lunchtime! Off to the fridge I trot, make my fresh salad - all healthy and happy... and then find myself one hand in the cookie jar... a few times over... :/
After three years at this, do I STILL have no restraint?!! ....... clearly not. :|
SO, here it is in black and white! Confession time! Not only did I indulge in the cookies, but it was followed with butterscotch lollies and cashews... Feeling the wrath of remorse by the time I got home, irrespective of the stiff and sore bod, there was hell to pay... and pay I did! I thought I'd try for a half hour on the crossy - given it's a 'low energy day' and my muscle fatigue - but that simply wouldn't cut it. "You play, you pay Amy!"... ok. Point taken. Just five minutes at a time... WHY does five minutes take so long when you're so sore?!!
An hour later, another grueling 21kms cross trainer session (2nd in three days) and 1550 cals burnt - and I'm totally spent. "Do the crime, do the time".
..... and then it hit me....
I've hit the SABOTAGE CYCLE - it happens every time I near the next milestone number, which for me has been every 5-kilo mark since my "30 kilos lost" wayyyyy back a couple years ago. This cycle and I are like old enemies - I know it intimately - and I know how much work it takes to break past it.
There's only 2.7 kilos to go until my next 5-kilo mark - and despite all my hard work on the exercise front the past fortnight, the scales aren't stepping up to play. My eating has been really off (particularly the past week), I'm indulging in things I don't even care to eat, eating more than I should, the processed foods I generally avoid have squeezed their way back into my mouth, and I'm cranky about food (food is NOT the enemy.. I know better!). It's the Sabotage Cycle well and truly at play, and it's time to give it a run for its money...
Sitting here sweaty but subdued... it's time to get my head around the blockage, and gear myself to work past the issue. I've done it before, I'll break it again...
So the moral of the story tonight, kids, is that cookies really ARE a "sometimes food" - and sometimes they're simply sabotaging!!!!
Eat well - move more - have fun!